Top 5 Violent Games of 2009

Article written by -K on 5/10/09
Last edited on 5/10/09

Violent Games of 2009 Godfather 2

The Godfather 2

Okay, this one’s already in stores, but this game is actually very brutal when you consider all the executions and BlackHand moves. You can grab someone, drag his ass around and slam it against stuff. You can choke people by grabbing them and pressing down both analog sticks, which really makes you feel like you’re actually choking someone. And you can throw enemies from a rooftop or finish them by consistently ramming your fist into his face through a brief but visceral execution move. And that’s just the melee part. You can also use your guns to slaughter opponents and innocents alike, and not just by firing them, but by pressing them against their foreheads, allowing you to see them beg a little just before you send their butts to the digital afterlife.

Violent Games of 2009 Ufc 2009 Undisputer

UFC 2009 Undisputed

I simply love fighting games, especially if they’re as skull cracking vicious and awesome as UFC 2009. Making a game that entails all the aspects of the MMA sport is tough, but the guys from Yuke’s have done a good job so far. Hitting the opponent right on the button feels like it should, and the impact your fighter receives from getting kicked in the head will make you cringe a little every single time. After a round you can definitely see the damage the fighters have done to each other. Another important fact: Chuck Lidell is part of the roster, and he has a Mohawk. And Mohawks rule.

Violent Games of 2009 Prototype

Prototype

The main character has the ability to morph his limbs into enormous scythes, he can summon spikes that pierce anything in his vicinity, and he can use bodies to skate/surf/glide through town! He just hops onto someone’s back and starts peddling. To me that’s a dream come true, except for the fact that it’s virtual, but still, I can’t wait to grab some fucking lard ass from the street and start scraping his face on the pavement.

Violent Games of 2009 Dead Rising 2

Dead Rising 2

Ho… ly… shit. A motorbike with chainsaws attached to it so you can drive through a crowd of mindless, groaning, meat chasing miscreants (and I don’t mean an army of Paris Hilton clones). Now if that doesn’t give you sick fucks a raging hard-on, then I don’t know what does. Yes, this game isn’t coming out until 2010, probably April-ish. But still, the brilliance of wielding chainsaws somehow amazes me time and time again. I know, I’m a simple guy to please. Just hand me a chainsaw while receiving a blowjob from a fifteen eighteen year old girl, that’s heaven for me. While Dead Rising 2 probably lacks on the snorkeling department, it has tons of zombies that can be killed in tons of ways to make up for it.

Violent Games of 2009 Postal 3

Postal 3

The trailers so far look pretty tame and boring but if it’s going to surpass the level of violence in Postal 2, we’re in for some fucking ride. Just search for ‘Postal 2 AW7’ the next time you hit the tubes. You’ll get to see how you can chop off limbs, cut people in half and see their insides pop out, pierce them with a katana, piss in their mouth to make them puke, chop their head off while they’re puking to see it stream out of the newly created orifice, set them alight by pouring gas over them and graciously throwing a match at it, and shove a cat over the barrel of your shotgun to make it a silenced weapon, to name a few things. That last one still cracks me up ‘till this very day… I just fucking hate cats. And keep in mind that, if it’s any good of a sequel, it should SURPASS that level of violence.

Crap, I think I just came a little.

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