Talking Shit

Talking Shit: The Tutorial

Article written by B0TTiG on 2/8/09
Last edited on 2/8/09

In game conversation and communication have become such an important part of online gaming. Team based games such as Halo, Call of Duty, and Left 4 Dead require great team coordination, and that all begins with the ability to listen and speak clearly. But it isn't just positive communication between team members that can help you get an edge. Negative communication, or “Shit Talking” with the other team can be just as effective.

Seeing how the large majority of FPS online gamers seem to be under the age of 16 and possess a sub-par understanding of the English language, you should have no problem getting into their tiny heads and pissing them off.

What not to do

Racial or religious remarks - These will just make you look like an ass, so don't do it.

Overuse of the phrases - n00b, bad kid, owned/pwned, etc. I understand that these terms are the very foundation of talking shit for video games, but they are beyond played out. People that use these phrases frequently have simply run out of ideas.

Scream insults - This is just unpleasant for everyone, please move your microphone away from your mouth and speak in a slow, calm, and well thought out manner... asshole.

What you should do

Insult indirectly - Use similes and metaphors to get your point across. For example, if your opponent sounds like he is 7, don't say “What are you, 7 years old or something?” use an indirect approach to say the same thing, like asking him if he likes apple juice before nap time.

Get creative - Make up phrases that could be construed as an insult. For example, one of my favorite insults is “clown.” But that phrase can lose its effectiveness, take it up a notch and call someone a “clown shoe,” “clown wig” or ask “Do you have clown parents? Or are you the only clown in your family?”

Adapt! - When someone is trash talking you, the best way to respond is to reference their insult and smash them with a sweet one back. For example, if someone were to make fun of my GT, “What a stupid gamertag, what does B0TTiG even mean?”. My response would be something like “A B0TTiG is someone that takes your mom out on a date and never calls her back.”

Thanks for reading Talking Shit: The Tutorial. Now go ahead and leave your dumbass shit talking stories in the comments section… clown shoe.

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